Death is not Dying - December 16, 2012

           As I get closer to the one-year anniversary of my diagnosis I am thinking back and reflecting on how much I have learned and grown in Christ this year. I am so thankful for it all. Of course, I still hope I will forever be cancer free, but I am also quite prepared for the fact that with the aggressive type cancer I had that there is a possibility that it will come back and that I could very well die from cancer eventually. I feel very thankful that I have had such a long life already compared to others, especially right now because of the news from the latest school shooting and children as young as five dying. I plan to go get checked out by doctors during the Christmas break.
             I often complain about things in life. It’s in my nature and a learned response of dealing with uncomfortable nesses and disappointments in life. I still remember and can hear the words of ranting from my grandmother and mom as they vented, walking and talking aloud supposedly to themselves about their frustrations with usually the very people in the house walking right next to them. Thankfully, the ranting aloud to myself is something that I hardly ever do; however, I still struggle not to make many small little negative comments. I usually tend to complain of things like my aches and pains, lack of sleep, the messy house, or the amount of work I have to do and the lack of appreciation I get. For example, I clean my boys toys day in and day out and they hardly ever thank me, but this job of motherhood is often a thankless job. Unfortunately, I think our whole family has this tendency to talk and complain about very small things. I hope we can all work on that.  

            I wish I took absolutely everything to the Lord first, but I don’t. I wish that I didn’t feel the need for understanding and sometimes empathy from others so much. I wish I were stoic and patient. I wish that things did not affect me so strongly at times and that I would shrug of negativity instead of going over and over it in my mind.  I have so much to continue to learn and work on. Each day brings problems and the necessity of problem solving with it. Each day is an opportunity of growth and learning. I think that I may start a journal that says not what positive thing I can think about such as Oprah would recommend but one that states the lessons learned from the day. Perhaps this is something I could pass on to my children. I know that in our home, we talk after and about a wide variety of life lessons and I hope and pray they watch and learn from the things that their dad and I deal with. Nothing in life can prepare you for it as well as the experiences themselves.  

            I hope that each day I can trust in the Lord more. I hope I can depend on Him for my needs, understanding, and life lessons. I hope that I can grow and be refined through trials and hardships to be more like Jesus each day.  

            I want you to watch a video, which is almost an hour long about life and death and the Lord. The woman has been diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. She has since this video died, but she was so stoic and trusting and well she’s amazing. I promise if you take the time to watch this, you will be blessed. The life lessons she passes on are worth the time. I will also add this video to the sidebar.

After four and a half years of vigilantly fighting breast cancer, the 37 year old wife and mother of two was diagnosed with terminal cancer. But for Rachel the essence of life is found in her relationship with God through Jesus. And that's why Rachel is convinced that death is not dying. On March 4, 2009, what started out as a small talk to a women's group at her church grew into an event attended by 600 women from around Vancouver, giving Rachel an opportunity to share about her hope in the midst of terminal cancer. Rachel’s honest and thought-provoking talk touched women of all ages and left a hunger for discovering more about Rachel’s journey and the faith that has so deeply affected her life.

 

 

Blessings,

Karri