Life has been very fast lately. It has been 1 month and 5 days since the very start of all of this and today will be my 4th chemo treatment and you can see how quick that all is. Here are some very random thoughts as I try to squeeze much in, in a very short period of time.
I am trying to meet with non- MD’s in order to figure out more options or
additional treatments. I feel like in 100 years from now they will look back on
chemo and consider it barbaric similar to how they now view the radial
mastectomies from 40 years ago. It really goes against the Hippocratic oath all
together, that they will not harm the patient. It seems ridiculous to me that
half the drugs I am taking have side notes with many horrible current side
effects and that some of the long side term effects are cancer in other places
in my body. Come on where is the logic in that? My friend Beth has hooked me up
with a husband/ wife team that specialize in all kinds of stuff, that have had
much success and so I am hopeful for possibilities with them. Please pray for
2. Every part of my life has been changed since receiving this
diagnosis, but the biggest is food and energy right now. I really have no
appetitive whatsoever and things I used to love to eat I could care less about.
Last night Mark made a cacciatore chicken dish and Holly said “Oh it’s horrible,
you wouldn’t like it.” as she stuffed her face and everyone was obviously loving
it. It was sweet, but of course I called her out. No biggie, I said I don’t want
it. I have lost 7 – 8 lbs. the other night a friend hid to eat her chocolate
cake not wanting to upset me that couldn’t but I can’t eat it and if I tried I
would probably be sick and so over the month I have really struggled with my
digestive issues and I am really hoping I can eat something without being sick
soon. Currently small smoothies from Panera, Smoothie King, etc. are my
favorite. The green smoothies that I was trying, my doctor asked me to get off
for a while since I was getting so dehydrated. I’m sure it will all work out ,
but I’d love prayers for this too.
3. I suggest that everyone go today
and throw away their deodorants and anti – perspirants today! Both MD’s and the
other holistic doctors agree on this point. The lymph nodes carry away all your
body’s toxins out through your sweat especially in your arm – pits and when you
stop up the process you retain these toxins, which they think can cause cancer
or other problems. I have switched to a brand called Jason’s. Beth even when out
and bought some of my other family members the same brand – so sweet. You need
to reapply it sometimes if you are going out and plan to sweat, but it is all
organic and natural products. There is also a brand called Tom’s but most people
that I know agree that’s not as good.
4. I am still trying to take in all
the blessings, and in fact I hyperventilated for the first time in my life the
other day, because I was crying so hard I couldn’t breathe; after I found out
about something amazing someone wanted to do for me. The Lord is too good for
words sometimes and I really struggle to believe it all at times. Yesterday, I
had 6 families in and out of my house, which everyone we know completely
understands that is pretty common for the Fieglein home. We watch other’s kids,
send kids with others, host meetings, classes and more in our home and I am
always happy to. Anyways, it is wonderful to have such a support system and so
many friends willing to help out with so many things. I appreciate them and the
Lord’s goodness to such an undeserving bunch. It’s still very difficult for me
to accept, but I am working in that area.
5. I have chemo today and for
about 2 – 3 hours of the time each week, I have a close friend come up and visit
and talk. It’s God’s provision for time, especially set aside for my
relationships. I have had 3 visitors so far and I feel like one per day is all I
can do, because I get tired – they give me 7 drugs which make me that way. I
love my friends encouragement and I am now asking for jokes and funny stories
each time, as heck, who couldn’t use a laugh, especially during something that
is so serious. Today, I feel that I will be losing my hair during chemo itself.
It usually happens with my cocktail between weeks 3 and 4 and today is #4. Last
night I took a shower as I was scared to all day too, as I was concerned that it
might fall out too fast and I still have no wig. My insurance doesn’t cover it.
UGH! Anyways, I am seriously thinking that if I have the strength, I’ll get my
family to give me a Mohawk tonight, as it would only be for a day or two anyway.
Opportunities like this don’t come around too often and I feel I must try to
take it. I considered coloring it blue too, but then I am afraid I’d have a bald
head with a blue streak down the middle – too funny! LOL What an image! If I can
do it I’d love to go to CC on Friday and freak out the children and also my Mom
is coming in on Friday too. We’ll see, things don’t always go accordingly to my
plan. Please pray that this isn’t too traumatic for me and that I’m
That’s it for now. I probably won’t write again till Saturday or
Sunday, since I’ll be tired.
I love you and appreciate you and you’re your
I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Her2 positive breast cancer Dec. 27th, 2011. I had three large tumors in my left breast, I also had two positive lymph nodes and so with 5 positive biopsies I started my journey. In the beginning, it was a whirlwind and within a week, I was getting a port and preparing for chemo and the rush to save my life was on. Eight months later (August 20th) after stopping chemo (12 sessions) and not having surgery (a suggested double mastectomy) or radiation like my doctors wanted me to, I sat at Cancer Treatment Centers of America in Illinois and heard the results of a mammogram, MRI, Pet Scan and blood tests were that they could find no cancer in my body. The nurses and doctors were baffled and no one could explain how I could have had this terrible cancer and it was now gone, except for me. I said the Lord healed me through prayers, education, diet and supplements. I started this blog when I was first diagnosed, it is not just about on cancer, but my life and day-to-day thoughts and activities. There are suggested websites, blogs, videos and more here that I believe can benefit those dealing with cancer and those who want to be preventative. My hope is that you and yours will learn, be encouraged and healed. My family prays every night for those with cancer and that you will be not only be healed but that you will live long and happy lives.
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Love and Blessings on your journey.
Love and Blessings on your journey.