I was on my way to the CC Spa Party last night. I put
lotion on my hands and then I rubbed the back of my neck area and then I saw
small single hair strands on my hands. I was in shock! I knew it was supposed to
happen, but it was to be between weeks 3 – 4 and Wed. will be my forth treatment
and so I guess I was hoping for a miracle and thinking that somehow I had
longer. It is such a reality now and I am trying not to touch my head today. I
have so much going on and between art classes, meetings, my tutors taxes, blood
work , chemo, etc. and just real life I am wanting to have a bit of time to take
in everything and there just isn’t any. Yesterday, I complained to a friend that
everything in life seemed at the time to come down to either time or money right
now. Well, I can’t write about it now, but she said money wasn’t an issue to
worry about. Now, I just need more time which no one can give me. I have 24
hours in a day just like everyone else. I have so much to manage and think about
that I feel just overwhelmed by the different new things to think about. I can’t
even get my digestive system to work properly and so I am still finding eating
in itself a big issue. I just feel like it is all just too much too
fast.
I have lots of good things to be thankful for, but as I am scared
to eat or touch my head today, I am just sad and currently trying hard to fight
back the tears that this is my life and it all just seems so much. I am just
very tired and want my life to go back the way it was before cancer when my
problems seems all so trivial now. I wish I could go back and I know I can’t. I
am praying and God is good I know I just wish I didn’t have to go through this.
It is so hard at times.
Karri
Cancer and life afterwards from a 42 year old Christian wife and mom of six. Please check out the many resources on the right side of the page.
My Story
I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Her2 positive breast cancer Dec. 27th, 2011. I had three large tumors in my left breast, I also had two positive lymph nodes and so with 5 positive biopsies I started my journey. In the beginning, it was a whirlwind and within a week, I was getting a port and preparing for chemo and the rush to save my life was on. Eight months later (August 20th) after stopping chemo (12 sessions) and not having surgery (a suggested double mastectomy) or radiation like my doctors wanted me to, I sat at Cancer Treatment Centers of America in Illinois and heard the results of a mammogram, MRI, Pet Scan and blood tests were that they could find no cancer in my body. The nurses and doctors were baffled and no one could explain how I could have had this terrible cancer and it was now gone, except for me. I said the Lord healed me through prayers, education, diet and supplements. I started this blog when I was first diagnosed, it is not just about on cancer, but my life and day-to-day thoughts and activities. There are suggested websites, blogs, videos and more here that I believe can benefit those dealing with cancer and those who want to be preventative. My hope is that you and yours will learn, be encouraged and healed. My family prays every night for those with cancer and that you will be not only be healed but that you will live long and happy lives.
Please check out the right side and scroll down to "This blog" for highlights.
Love and Blessings on your journey.
Karri
Love and Blessings on your journey.
Karri
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