Since I started to
write this post a storm has sprung up and rain beats against my window
and thunder booms in the distance and a few cracks of
lighting flash over my neighbor’s homes. I love rain and the cozy feel I
am always thinking about as I relate rain to my previous experiences of
shelter, comfort and refuge; often coupled with even more warmth in the
form of a cup of coffee or tea, a warm blanket and a good book shared with my
kids on our comfortable couches.
This morning I am thinking about all those that are caught outside without homes, a warm drink or even a blanket. I often wish I could do so much more in life and offer more to others outside of my home, work and church, but that is always with the shadow of my feeling like I am tired and have so much on my plate as is. My house always seems to have many needs weather cleaning, cooking and laundry and such or child training or just plain academics since we attend a university model school and now there are five kids studying in the house daily. There are always errands, appointments and others needs. There is always more to do and I think I will never get to that season of rest.
This morning I am thinking about all those that are caught outside without homes, a warm drink or even a blanket. I often wish I could do so much more in life and offer more to others outside of my home, work and church, but that is always with the shadow of my feeling like I am tired and have so much on my plate as is. My house always seems to have many needs weather cleaning, cooking and laundry and such or child training or just plain academics since we attend a university model school and now there are five kids studying in the house daily. There are always errands, appointments and others needs. There is always more to do and I think I will never get to that season of rest.
There was a movie
years ago with Meg Ryan called Prelude to a Kiss. It's a cute
and interesting movie with some great conversation that
could take place afterwards no doubt. Anyways in the movie - wait I can't give
it away, you'll just have to see it but long story short though, it’s about
wanting what you don't have. I often want what I don't have. Peace, rest, more
time, completed work, a state of “it’s all done." I usually feel like I
can never give enough, have enough or will complete enough. Of course, I am a Christian and I have the ultimate
“enough” that is true, however my earthly brain and spirit is never sitting at
my Father’s feet just being content and filled up long “enough.” I long to be in heaven and in that state of contentment, after all that is my real home and someday I know without a doubt I'll be with my Lord and Savior in Heaven.
I am often trying to take care of things on my own as I feel there
is so much to do. I remember about eight years ago saying “God’s not coming down to
do her multiplication cards, I have to do it” I was referring to how yes God is
awesome and wonderful and capable, but He expects me to do so much. I was complaining
with three little girls and a new son and homeschooling and just all the
responsibilities I had and feeling tired and burned out. The responsibilities of parenthood never end.
I have been thinking of burnout and what it means more than ever.
Not so much what burnout is, but the causes, the thoughts behind it and coming
up with some thoughts to prevent it. Trying to have acceptance of where I am and focusing on what is important. Does housework or even homework trump God-given relational work? Does to-do lists and errands and day to day activities trump spiritual time and romantic/ connection time with my husband? Does loud chaotic time quiet reflective time? Where are my priorities? How am I doing? I often evaluate to the point of nausea. Please pray that I can make some revelations and changes where needed.
Anyways I am tired and will head back to bed. But, I want to share what I watched this morning in my alone time. Enjoy it and hopefully you will see the connections I have made.
It;'s a 30 minutes video and I hope you can watch it. you may have to cut and paste the link since I can't insert it because it's not on You Tube.
http://www.stevewiens.com/2013/03/15/the-beautiful-truth-about-burnout/
Blessings
Karri
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