My Story

I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Her2 positive breast cancer Dec. 27th, 2011. I had three large tumors in my left breast, I also had two positive lymph nodes and so with 5 positive biopsies I started my journey. In the beginning, it was a whirlwind and within a week, I was getting a port and preparing for chemo and the rush to save my life was on. Eight months later (August 20th) after stopping chemo (12 sessions) and not having surgery (a suggested double mastectomy) or radiation like my doctors wanted me to, I sat at Cancer Treatment Centers of America in Illinois and heard the results of a mammogram, MRI, Pet Scan and blood tests were that they could find no cancer in my body. The nurses and doctors were baffled and no one could explain how I could have had this terrible cancer and it was now gone, except for me. I said the Lord healed me through prayers, education, diet and supplements. I started this blog when I was first diagnosed, it is not just about on cancer, but my life and day-to-day thoughts and activities. There are suggested websites, blogs, videos and more here that I believe can benefit those dealing with cancer and those who want to be preventative. My hope is that you and yours will learn, be encouraged and healed. My family prays every night for those with cancer and that you will be not only be healed but that you will live long and happy lives.
Please check out the right side and scroll down to "This blog" for highlights.
Love and Blessings on your journey.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

The Beautiful Truth About Burnout - March 19, 2012

I wake up quite often at around 1 a.m. and leave the comfort of my cozy bed with my snoring husband and now our little puppy softly breathing, to get up and watch a sermon in the middle of the night. The thrill of watching a pastor, studying scripture or even working on my to-do list is awesome when it is done in peace and quiet which is usually pretty rare in this home. I usually stay up for a few hours and head back to sleep for a couple hours in which my bed always seems even more cozy and welcoming.

Since I started to write this post a storm has sprung up and rain beats against my window and thunder booms in the distance and a few cracks of lighting flash over my neighbor’s homes. I love rain and the cozy feel I am always thinking about as I relate rain to my previous experiences of shelter, comfort and refuge; often coupled with even more warmth in the form of a cup of coffee or tea, a warm blanket and a good book shared with my kids on our comfortable couches.
This morning I am thinking about all those that are caught outside without homes, a warm drink or even a blanket. I often wish I could do so much more in life and offer more to others outside of my home, work and church, but that is always with the shadow of my feeling like I am tired and have so much on my plate as is. My house always seems to have many needs weather cleaning, cooking and laundry and such or child training or just plain academics since we attend a university model school and now there are five kids studying in the house daily. There are always errands, appointments and others needs. There is always more to do and I think I will never get to that season of rest. 

There was a movie years ago with Meg Ryan called Prelude to a Kiss. It's a cute and interesting movie with some great conversation that could take place afterwards no doubt. Anyways in the movie - wait I can't give it away, you'll just have to see it but long story short though, it’s about wanting what you don't have. I often want what I don't have. Peace, rest, more time, completed work, a state of “it’s all done." I usually feel like I can never give enough, have enough or will complete enough.  Of course, I am a Christian and I have the ultimate “enough” that is true, however my earthly brain and spirit is never sitting at my Father’s feet just being content and filled up long “enough.” I long to be in heaven and in that state of contentment, after all that is my real home and someday I know without a doubt I'll be with my Lord and Savior in Heaven. 

I am often trying to take care of things on my own as I feel there is so much to do. I remember about eight years ago saying “God’s not coming down to do her multiplication cards, I have to do it” I was referring to how yes God is awesome and wonderful and capable, but He expects me to do so much. I was complaining with three little girls and a new son and homeschooling and just all the responsibilities I had and feeling tired and burned out. The responsibilities of parenthood never end.

I have been thinking of burnout and what it means more than ever. Not so much what burnout is, but the causes, the thoughts behind it and coming up with some thoughts to prevent it. Trying to have acceptance of where I am and focusing on what is important. Does housework or even homework trump God-given relational work? Does to-do lists and errands and day to day activities trump spiritual time and romantic/ connection time with my husband? Does loud chaotic time quiet reflective time? Where are my priorities? How am I doing? I often evaluate to the point of nausea. Please pray that I can make some revelations and changes where needed.

Anyways I am tired and will head back to bed. But, I want to share what I watched this morning in my alone time. Enjoy it and hopefully you will see the connections I have made. 

It;'s a 30 minutes video and I hope you can watch it. you may have to cut and paste the link since I can't insert it because it's not on You Tube.


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