My Story

I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Her2 positive breast cancer Dec. 27th, 2011. I had three large tumors in my left breast, I also had two positive lymph nodes and so with 5 positive biopsies I started my journey. In the beginning, it was a whirlwind and within a week, I was getting a port and preparing for chemo and the rush to save my life was on. Eight months later (August 20th) after stopping chemo (12 sessions) and not having surgery (a suggested double mastectomy) or radiation like my doctors wanted me to, I sat at Cancer Treatment Centers of America in Illinois and heard the results of a mammogram, MRI, Pet Scan and blood tests were that they could find no cancer in my body. The nurses and doctors were baffled and no one could explain how I could have had this terrible cancer and it was now gone, except for me. I said the Lord healed me through prayers, education, diet and supplements. I started this blog when I was first diagnosed, it is not just about on cancer, but my life and day-to-day thoughts and activities. There are suggested websites, blogs, videos and more here that I believe can benefit those dealing with cancer and those who want to be preventative. My hope is that you and yours will learn, be encouraged and healed. My family prays every night for those with cancer and that you will be not only be healed but that you will live long and happy lives.
Please check out the right side and scroll down to "This blog" for highlights.
Love and Blessings on your journey.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Authority - Novermber 18, 2012

         So, ever since the election results which set Obama as the president for another four years, I have been contemplating authority, respect of position, God’s sovereignty and much more along these lines.
          I have always struggled with the whole concept of authority. To me it has always been more about right and wrong than who is in power. My parents, grandmother, teachers and even the government had a certain measure of authority over me, in that if it made sense to me, I was in agreement and complied and if not, I didn't. 

          I have realized that just because a person is older than you are, and they have God- given authority over you that sometimes they are wrong. Humans are imperfect and sinful and so we should not question this fact. However, understanding authority more as I get older, I realize now that God will bless me if I am willing to submit to my authority even when I don’t agree.
          I once watched a movie from the fifties in which a daughter in high school came home and went to bed after her Dad had already gone to bed.  The next morning she was given a very harsh lecture and was grounded when her father realized that she had left the light on, the back door open and then because he heard a loud sound after her curfew time, he assumed she also came in late.  She never defended herself.  As the audience, we all knew that it was actually her mother that got up and did these things when she heard a noise in the night. The daughter wasn’t at fault. We (as the audience) saw her shut off the light, lock the door and we even saw the time on the clock knowing she did indeed meet her curfew time. We felt her sadness and the injustice she was being served and we were frustrated by the whole situation.
          The whole story was based on how she respected her father and his position of authority over her even when he was wrong. The truth eventually did come out later when the parents were talking and the father did apologize to his daughter.  It was a biblically sound portrayal of what should happen in and with authority. This whole concept had a major impact on me in that I still remember this movie some 20 years later. It was all just so foreign a concept to respect the authority so much, that you wouldn’t defend yourself.
          However, I went on and justified my actions and behaviors against my authority saying “someone needs to stand up and speak against the injustices and lies.” I thought about people like Martin Luther Jr., Rosa Parks and others.  I thought, I can be bold and opinionated and heck God made me this way for a reason! Boy, oh, boy, what a liar Satan is and how he spins the truth. The truth is that we live in a fallen world and I am a broken person with sin running through my veins. The truth is that God allowed me to be in certain circumstances and situations which helped to make me the personality and form the beliefs I have, and some of those are right and some are wrong. The truth is that I am a work in progress and it is through our failures and situations, the Lord works in and for us and refines us to be more like Him. Sometimes I am meant to speak up and other I am meant to shut up.
          I am reading a book by Joyce Meyers right now in which she talks about how we (many) feel the need to be right and heard and how that hurts relationships when we can’t admit to being wrong. The book is titled Conflict Free Living - How to build healthy relationships for life. Anyways, I am wondering if I can ever be like the girl in the movie and not speak quickly to defend myself even if the other person is wrong. Can I shut up and just listen even if I disagree and feel strongly against what is being said, even more so, if they are lies?  I think it comes back down to what I believe at the core of who I am, my insecurities, my issues, my past, etc. I felt I had no voice as a child living in an abusive and dysfunctional home(s). I saw my Mom being abused as well and I made up my mind at around the age of 12 or 13, that no one would walk on me and that I would always use my voice to defend myself and protect myself. I even went steps further and built walls of protection around myself and did many self-damaging things in my earlier years all in attempts to adjust. When I was 16 I even shut down completely and stopped talking altogether because I had been hurt so many times I just didn’t want to be hurt again. My standing up and defending myself became my self protection and standard mode of operation and I thought this was the best thing I could possibly do. 
          Our children’s lives are intentionally very different from our childhoods. We strive to provide stability, be loving caring parents and offer clear boundaries all within a Christian worldview. My daughter Holly has been told many times this week to do extra dishes as her sister Hannah hurt her arm mountain biking and now off on a church retreat, and she has been unable to help with this chore. Now Holly thinks this is unfair and in the eyes of this 13 year old she thinks it is wrong that I would even ask her to do this, however the  bottom line is that I am the mom and her authority and she needs to do what I say and if she doesn’t like it, oh well. I am and will be held accountable to God for my actions, and how I use my authority and I feel confident that what I am asking is just fine. She should submit to my authority, because her only other choice is to get in a fight with me or run away from home, both of which Holly will not do. The point here is that there are clear boundaries and expectations. BTW – the next step in this training is to teach our children to do these things, which they do not alwas like with a cheerful heart. Often this is an area I need to work in myself. There is a difference between fair and just. Life isn't fair, but God is just.
          We all have some level of authority and want to be honored, trusted, respected and have our rules obeyed, even if this is a child with his or her own dog. If someone thinks that for whatever reason the rules are unfair or wrong then I believe it is their responsibility to go to their authority and discuss the situation and them the authority's responsibility to listen and then make a decision and/or work towards a solution.

          I believe that whether the person likes it or not, or agrees with it or not, right or wrong even they should respect and trust the final authority or move themselves from it.  I did this with my last professional position, I disagreed with the way things were and I stepped down from my position in pursuit of things I believed more strongly in, and that worked better for our family. Another time, we were at a church for 12 years and then when our daughter’s 5th grade program started doing and saying things that we were not in agreement with, we moved to a church we were are in agreement with what the church is doing; and in small areas where we don’t like certain things we overlook them. Most recently, I left the oncologist I initially went to because we disagreed on what was best for me. I could go on. (Thank God we live in America where we have these freedoms, at least for now anyways.)
          In all the cases above, I first submitted to my authority. If there were specific issues that I was concerned with that could not be overlooked, I brought them to my authority and discussed them, and then if there was still a problem or I felt lead to move, I moved on. The bottom line is we all have the choice to submit, fight or flee our authority. We all have the choice to support and encourage or bad talk and destroy. I believe that we need to teach the next generation through good example and I hope to do this the bext of abilility.   
         There are areas where we put ourselves under the authority and other areas where we have no control. I have no control on the laws of nature, what the commandments of the Bible are; (and I can't change truth to meet my standards) who the president is, the speeding limits down the highway, and so on. Sure, I can and sometimes do ignore the Bible and its commands and I can vote, which I recently did, but when my vote was lost among the majority for whatever reason, I am stuck.
        We do have control over which neighborhood association we fall decide to live under. We have control over which soccer program my son joins; and our agreeing to the rules and even the coach’s decision for when we have practice nights. We have control on which type of education our children get and the rules and regulations set by those choices. Heck now we can move to Colorado or Washington to smoke pot legally if we agree withthose lawmaker and their decisisons. The government even allows us to have the authority to kill our unborn children if we decide to. I might not agree with all of the laws, but I do not have to do the things that the law says I have the freedoms to. We can teach my children to strive to live by Biblical truths and standards.
       Sometimes things change and get better over time and sometimes they get worse. I can't wait to see what to see what the next four years in our country hold. Last night John Stossel had a show on FOX on that very topic and it was quite scary. However, we also need to put our trust in the highest authority and have faith and trust in Him, even if we aren't happy with the way things are going in our work place, schools, church, government and so on.
        There needs to be compromise and there always could be more prayer and support. There's this 20/80 rule in the church where in many churches 20% of the people do 80% of the work and sometimes it's even 10/90 and so on. I see our country going more so than ever in this direction and at some point things are going to snap like they have in Europe. The 20% usually is over worked and frustrated and things start to spiral down. I think back to President Kennedy and his saying "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country" and I am wondering that right now. How can I help things? I don't believe that arguing, gossiping and putting down the position of authority will ever help.        
          Okay, so do I believe that Obama should be the president of the United States? Absolutely not! Do I believe that he is working with integrity? Absolutely not! So what is to be my position now? How should I react to this? Well I can’t just call him up the President and discuss my concerns, now can I? So, I asked Mark the other day what he thought our roll should be. Do we do nothing? Do we speak up? Do we criticize the president or support him? Obama holds the highest position in the world as the president of the USA. God is sovereign and allowed this to be the case whether we like it or not, or agree with it or not.  He might not do and say all of the things we want, but who in life does? There are sayings "that you are with us or against us.' and "if you aren't part of the solution you are part of the problem." I don't want to be a part of the problem, but what is the soution?
         Now the questions are: What authority do I submit to? What is my role when I see and believe in injustice; say in the case of the things that are happening in the government and the world? Am I supposed to be quiet? Are we supposed to move away to another country as Holly suggested we should when she found out that Romney lost? Am I supposed to go to the government and voice my thoughts? And if so, how? Should I do as many are, and just post my frustrations on Facebook, my blog and social circles? How do I determine the best course on when to speak up and when to stay silent? Wow, this is a lot to consider, isn’t it?
Here is where I am on this processing and what I plan to do.
1.     Stay true to my convictions and live the best I can each day.

2.    Focus on the Bible and what it states especially when it comes to authority.

3.    Teach our children about truth, justice, media, sin and Satan’s schemes.

4.    Work to improve myself and strive to be the best I can for the glory of the Lord.

5.    Work to hold my tongue and remember that God is just and just like with my cancer – it is His fight not mine. He is a just God.

6.    Forgive myself when I mess up, which I will always do, as I am a sinner.

7.    Forgive others when they have and continue to hurt me, realizing they are sinners as well.

8.    Seek to use my skills, talents and gifts from the Lord to make the world a better place as far as it is up to me.

9.    Seek to follow the Holy Spirit more, instead of my own fleshly desires.

10. Let God be the final authority. Trust and rest in Him even when I disagree with the way things are. He sees the whole picture and it is all for His glory, even if I just don’t understand it. I need to respect Him and His judgments and planning in my life and that includes my authorities and their positions.

11.  Remember and remind myself regularly that man will always fail and disappoint, but God is always right and never changing and He is who I should run to first when I have a problem.  He should be my trusted confidant before anyone else.

12. Remember that I do not need man’s assurance and acceptance, but that God is enough and that He loves me and forgives me.

13. Work to respect the authorities in and over my life; my husband, my pastor, my elders, my president, etc. Yes and even those that have hurt me, hopefully going one extra step and praying for mercy for them, as they will be judged for what they have done to me.

14. Continue to educate myself on my roles in life and what the Lord wants me to do for myself, my family and for society.

15. Continue to believe in America, her freedoms and the constitution. Work to pass down our country’s true rich heritage and honor our service men and women with appreciation and prayers. respect the position of the White House even if this is goig to be very difficult for me.

16. Strive not to complain and groan about things. Be willing to be a part of the solutions to make things better instead of jumping on the bandwagon of private or public gossip as this doesn’t make things better to add fuel to the fire with talk of dissention and strife. (Note: I truly see this in our country right now with the Republicans and Democrats being very divided. and I can't even watch Hannity anymore.)
Scriptures to hold onto:

·        Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you. Hebrews 13:17
·         Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God.  Romans 13:1 

·         First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. 1 Timothy 2:1 -2 

·         Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Colossians 3:18 

·         Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Romans 12;10 

·         Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Colossians 3:15 

·        For God is not a God of disorder but of peace—as in all the congregations of the Lord’s people. 1 Corinthians 14:33 

·        Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. 1 Peter 3:8 
Okay so that was officially the longest blog post as to date, But I am printing this up and using it on a regular basis to help me. I hope that it helps someone else as well


P.S. I just bought the book - How to Raise an American - 1776 Fun and Easy Tools, Tips and Activities to help your Child Love this Country. By Myrna Blyth and Chriss Winston. It's really great!


  1. Wow! I can't even begin to list how many things you hit that I'm dealing with, from myself to my boys. I liked each numbered "plan" you wrote, but especially #10-deals with my whole faith & trust issue to a tee; and #14-I'm responsible for my role in this life, fulfilling it according to God's plans for my life, not just mine. I'm printing this out for sure.

    1. Awesome Sharon. If I can help even one person I am thrilled. I wish more people would comment though. Thanks for taking the time.
      Love you!


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