My Story

I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Her2 positive breast cancer Dec. 27th, 2011. I had three large tumors in my left breast, I also had two positive lymph nodes and so with 5 positive biopsies I started my journey. In the beginning, it was a whirlwind and within a week, I was getting a port and preparing for chemo and the rush to save my life was on. Eight months later (August 20th) after stopping chemo (12 sessions) and not having surgery (a suggested double mastectomy) or radiation like my doctors wanted me to, I sat at Cancer Treatment Centers of America in Illinois and heard the results of a mammogram, MRI, Pet Scan and blood tests were that they could find no cancer in my body. The nurses and doctors were baffled and no one could explain how I could have had this terrible cancer and it was now gone, except for me. I said the Lord healed me through prayers, education, diet and supplements. I started this blog when I was first diagnosed, it is not just about on cancer, but my life and day-to-day thoughts and activities. There are suggested websites, blogs, videos and more here that I believe can benefit those dealing with cancer and those who want to be preventative. My hope is that you and yours will learn, be encouraged and healed. My family prays every night for those with cancer and that you will be not only be healed but that you will live long and happy lives.
Please check out the right side and scroll down to "This blog" for highlights.
Love and Blessings on your journey.

Sunday, August 05, 2012

Learning Important Lessons - August 5, 2012

Matthew: 18:15-35 - Dealing With Sin in the Church
Discipline and Prayer
“ If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. . But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or trhree witnesses every fact may be confirmed. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Truly I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall have been bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall have been loosed in heaven.

“Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven.  For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst.”
Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus *said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven

“For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves.  When he had begun to settle them, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. But since he did not have the means to repay, his lord commanded him to be sold, along with his wife and children and all that he had, and repayment to be made. So the slave fell to the ground and prostrated himself before him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you everything.’ And the lord of that slave felt compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt. But that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and he seized him and began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay back what you owe.’ So his fellow slave fell to the ground and began to plead with him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you.’ But he was unwilling and went and threw him in prison until he should pay back what was owed.  So when his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were deeply grieved and came and reported to their lord all that had happened. Then summoning him, his lord said to him, ‘You wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave, in the same way that I had mercy on you?’  And his lord, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him.  My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.”
Galatians 6:7b
for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap.
Psalm 119:2
How blessed are those who observe His testimonies, who seek Him with all their heart.

Okay, so where am I on all of this? Well, I'm trying to deal with sin in my life and handle the lies from Satan in a spiritual battle. Why am I here thinking and writing with 3 hours of sleep in the middle of the night? Because I am so frustrated and disappointment with my fellow Christians. Throughout the Bible, Jesus, apostles, saints, wise men warn us of Satan’s schemes and tell us how we are to behave and speak with others, especially other believers. However, we are, sinful fallen creatures and we will always sin and need the Lord to help us and so this morning I am running to Him and His word.
Sin and irritating people are easier to handle when you have spent much time in prayer, scripture and have softened your heart towards a person that you want to strangle. Often it is just a matter of listening to them and trying to understand them and other times it's just that you have to forgive them because, well they don't know what they are doing and ignorance is something we all have to deal with, both in ourselves and with others around us.
I really do understand how easy it is for Satan to use "Christians" to give the Gospel, the Bible and the Truth a bad rap, confuse things and twist the truth. Satan is so good at what he does. We as Christians often forget Matthew 18 altogether. Behaviors have consequences. As Christians, often times we don't want to hurt or upset the person that may be sinning or handling things in a way we disapprove of, so we just walk away, and wash our hands of the person and the situation altogether.  That is easier, and who wants to work on truth, justice, relationships and give of time, energy and love in this highly techie society where we can just refuse to pick up the phone and ignore not only the person but also the issue too and move on with our lives?
The problem is that is just how Satan gets a foothold into individual relationships, communities and society as a whole. It is very easy for people to get busy (Being Under Satan's Yoke) and just push a person completely out of their life because of something they said or did. I personally have walked completely away from friendships because the person did something so horrible (in my mind) that it was beyond forgiving or I just decided I didn't have time for that nonsense in my life.
This last year with my leaving Classical Conversations I have realized just how many people were in my life because of our situation of seeing each other on a regular basis and having something in common. A huge majority of CC women were in my living room when I announced I was leaving all within about 5 minutes of announcing I had cancer as well (something I found out 6 days earlier). I knew I shouldn’t have announced this when I did; the Holy Spirit told me as I was getting ready and looking in my mirror right before everyone showed up, but I thought they needed to know then and there so they could find another director and so I super seceded the Spirit to get my way. Satan's efforts and my flesh got in the way and I reacted in a way I wish I hadn't, even if it was a difficult situation.  I wish things had turned out differently and I am a bit sad, but I know God had a plan. It was a time of life that I am thankful for as I am learned so much and grown in my walk because of it.  Most of all I realized on a much higher level that truely there is a spiritual battle and Satan really is a work and I must do everything I can to counter his efforts, even if it is painful or I am vulnerable. I must always try to be quiet enough to listen to the Holy Spirit and when I hear it actually do what it is leading me to do.
As my life seems to get clearer and more refined because of the blessing of cancer I stop and think about things more when I am in a spiritual battle or I am frustrated with a person. I think more about this person as a child of God that I need to seriously pray for. I think of Galatians 6:7 and how if I don’t invest the time and effort then I won’t reap the benefits, even if they are painful sometimes. I think of Psalm 119:2 and how I need to seek the Lord and His direction with all my heart even if it’s is time consuming and effort.
Of course, this is all easily written and harder to apply, but that is what I am trying to apply through the hurt and frustration with many people in life. Moreover, it’s always easier to try this with friends that it is with family, don’t even get me started there. Hey! I'm a work in progress.
I know people move in and out of our lives as you change jobs, churches, move into different communities, say goodbyes, etc. but I hope and pray that today you my reader and I can both work on seeking God to see who is to be in our lives and who we are to reach out to. I hope we can remember Matthew 18 and go to that person in love and try to work out things if they ended badly or at least try to start that from here on forward. I hope that we can forgive one another and have grace and understanding for one another even if they have hurt us. I hope that we can recognize Satan for who he is. I hope that we not only hear the Holy Spirit but also obey it. I hope and pray I can forgive myself and extend grace to myself as well as I know I am not perfect and I have and sinned and will continue to. I pray that I will be able to make many new friends and that my children will have lifelong friends that will build them up and not tear them down or hurt them. I pray that my children can have strong healthy relationships where both sides seek the Lord when the times are difficult and misunderstandings seem to be boundless. I pray that my children will be good friends themselves and that they will be able to learn that through example from Mark and myself.

1 comment:

  1. Hey friend! I have been thinking about you a lot lately and have been meaning to call. Sorry for not calling you soon than I have. Please call me back when you get the chance. I would love to come hang out with you guys. I've really missed you!


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