Waiting on the Holy Spirit - April 6, 2012

Eph 3:14 – 21: For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen

The scripture above states that God can do far more abundantly beyond all we can ask or think, according to the power that works within us. I believe that this power within us is not our own, but the power of the Holy Spirit and for this reason I start here with the blog.

Lots has happened since my last blog entry and too much to go into great detail on but I’ll try to give a quick summary. I went on Tuesday to visit a different breast surgeon who said she thought I was doing terrific and had showed major healing thus far. My tumors have shrunk significantly and that was another confirmation of progress. Praise the Lord!

Yesterday, I went to see Dr. Hopkins, my holistic doc. and we had a really good visit. Bobbie drove and went in with me as usual. During the discussion, he asked why I would have surgery if I am getting better and showed improved blood work, overall health improvement and the tumor was shrinking. This was an interesting question, because the main reason was because that’s what the oncologist and the surgeons told me I needed to do so, and I had just accepted this as my future. Their reasoning is to prevent the tumor from growth and then metastasis (it spreading to my organs or bones). It always was something I didn’t want to do, but I had accepted it and have been planning for it. However, through a series of conversations with the staff at the clinic we had discussion on why we do things and what were my reasons, etc. There was a man that had been seeing Dr. Mark for 1 year now, after being diagnosed 3 years ago and almost dying of stage 4 colon and renal cancer that had spread to much of his torso, and now he only has 4 small cancerous spots, he has lost 50 lbs and had many life changes and feels he is almost cancer free. It was good talking to him as well. Everyone at the clinic is a Christian and believes in the power of Jesus to heal and this man talked about how God has changed Him inside and out. It was very encouraging.

Fast forward, to a conversation with Bobbie in the car on the way home. A doctor’s office had called me while Bobbie drove and I asked if they took insurance and woman said no, so I said thank you and got off the phone. The finances for everything I’d like to do are not there and so I said, “I guess that’s a closed door.” So, the conversation that continued was about how God opens doors and shuts doors and how we have to just walk each day out with what we have been given. A major realization was the following:

Mark and I see eye to eye on a lot of things in life, big things and little things. Everything from the church we go to, our parenting/ homeschooling choices and endeavors and the money we spend all the way down to the food we eat and the activities that we do. However cancer hasn’t given us as much time to process all of its treatment options and choices and have much time for discussion and even lots of solid deep prayer together. So, as we feel we know without a doubt on certain things in life, we seem to be a bit back and forth on the cancer treatment options. Most recently, the biggest life change was the realization that we are supposed to leave Classical Conversations was apparent and obvious to us, not because someone told us the door was shut and we couldn’t continue, but because we felt the sprit moving us to start a NAUMS program. One door shut and another opened wide. That is just one example of how easy things seems to be in our life and how we roll. We pray, seek God, listen and then move according to the spirit or the word of God. However, when it came to cancer treatment we were rushed into quick decision making that didn’t seem as though we had any choice, and so we did what we were told and I had a port put in and started chemo within a week of finding out about the cancer.

This was not familiar territory to us. The amounts of information to research, the options available, and the opinions so wide, that it all seemed quite daunting to us as we have moved forward. The time required with chemo, shots, down healing time and all the doctor’s appointments has taken its toll on our family. Yesterday, in the car the realization that Mark and I need to be on the same page and we need more time to think and pray about everything couldn’t have come at a better time. Resurrection week and Easter is a time of new beginnings with strong faith and a time to come to Jesus with reverence and thanksgiving for the life that He gave for us. What a great time to seek Jesus and wait and listen for the Lord and the spirit to direct our next steps.

So with that, we have decided we aren’t on any man’s agenda or time table, but that we serve a mighty God that “is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us.” We are slowing down to focus on God and His will for our lives and especially for me as we determine where and what He would have us do as far as cancer treatment goes. We want to follow the Lord’s will and plan for our lives and to walk by faith and not by sight or move based on fear and doubt. I trust that the Lord will take care of me and that I will be fine and that if I am not, that is God’s Soverign plan and His plan for me.

Thanks so much for your prayers during this time.

Blessings and a Happy Easter to you all,

Karri