Yesterday morning I went to drop off H3 and H4 to my friend Courtney and she took them to the beach and a to a CC field trip to see the Nina and Pinta reproduction boats. After dropping them off I went to give blood at the lab and then the oncologist called me back and said to come on up and get chemo. I honestly was a bit sad as I wasn’t expecting it. I even called my friend Bobbie to whine/ cry a bit and a security guard brought me Kleenex when he saw me.
Anyways, chemo was fine and very uneventful, I didn’t have a visitor and time goes very slowly when you are just sitting for hours on end. I started before 9 and was there till 2. Ironically I watched the movie Misery on Netflix. I read some and perused magazines and the Williams Sonoma catalog. They have tons of magazines! I had called Mark and he brought me my chemo bag and then he took the two little guys to work with him for a few hours and the oldest girls stayed home working on their chores and schoolwork. Mark then took the boys back home and came to get me. I had to give urine in the lab and then we had to go to the cardiologist as the oncologist thought it wise. I had an EKG and an echocardiogram and they want me to come back for a stress test.Once home at around 4, I basically just laid in bed the rest of the night. I was totally bummed that the cleaning ladies that were scheduled to clean that day for the first time ever with the organization that does helps chemo patients out, wouldn’t come in without us there and so the house wasn’t clean the way I would have liked it. I was tempted to get up and do stuff, but I was tired and didn’t push myself.
Yesterday while in chemo I talked to the doctor about my schedule and my thinking about things. She said she would work with me on timing depending on how my body does. She said I can finish the next 4 -5 treatments and then do the next round in 2 months time instead of 3 months if I wanted which of course I do. I want to get done with all of this and move on. After I get the first 2 regiments of chemo, then its surgery and that is a 5 weeks strong recovery time and a whole 3 months till complete recovery. That is a really big deal and a bit scary to me as far as logistics and child care/ house care goes. I can’t even imagine being down for 5 weeks. I don’t even do well in bed for 1 day much less such a long and painful time. Anyways after all that I’ll have another 6 months of additional chemo, but it will be pretty easy as it will only be 2 – 3 hours a week.
The plan right now is to figure out our insurance and finances and then to possibly go to MD Anderson for the second opinion and continue to go to these other doctors and just take it all day by day. Try as I might to go completely holistic, I think it is impossibility for me as I have a very aggressive type cancer which has already gone into my lymph nodes. Even if I did try to go holistic,I would have to be on the supplements and treatments for the rest of my life and I’d always be scared on whether or not it would work or not and who could afford that for life? I have to just resolve to the fact that this is my fate and my life whether I like it or not.I am sure I will be fine and that the Lord will be with me no matter what. Last night we watched Prelude to a Kiss and I mentioned to Hannah how crazy it would be not to have God; she totally agreed. Meg Ryan’s character throughout the majority of the movie was scared about life and she didn’t even want to have children because she thought the world such a sad and depressing place. I can’t even image what I would do without my Rock.
I am truly blessed to have so many people that care and are praying for me. Yesterday Hayden’s teacher Megan from CEC brought me a juicer to borrow, my friend Helen sent me more e-mails on nutrition and cancer diets, etc. and I was encouraged by Bobbie again to just take it day by day. There hasn’t been one day since getting this cancer diagnosis that I didn’t feel the hand of God reaching out to me through his people. He is so awesome and I am so undeserving of all that He has blessed me with. I look forward to being on the other side of this storm, but I happy to go through it if He wants me to.I hope that you have a blessed day and can thank God for the fact that He woke you up and that you have breath, no matter how things go, we should all be grateful for that.
Verse for the day: Be careful what you think, because your thoughts run your life. Proverbs 4:23