Quite Honestly - March 2, 2012

I am already tired of cancer and what I have been doing to “cure” it.  I never felt bad with cancer until I started doing chemo. I want a healthy strong body without any pain or weakness. I have had pain in my right side and especially my legs. The doctor gave me a prescription for a medicine to help with neuropathy and I think that’s just one more stinkin’ drug that is manmade that would most likely cause more problems, so I haven’t got it yet. I don’t want to have to take pain killers first thing in the morning, but that is what I did yesterday because I over did things on Wed. and so Thursday morning I was paying for it. I am taking 800 mg Motrin and I think it’s crazy! I had some chest pain at chemo on Wed. and the doctor wants me to go get another echocardiogram to make sure my heart is o.k. How crazy that what we are doing to rid my body of cancer is causing, and could continue to cause more problems throughout other parts of my body. None of this makes sense to me.

I personally would be happy quitting all chemo and just trying to go 100% holistic. I don’t like the whole fear factor thing that people have put on me saying that if I don’t do chemo the result will be growth of the cancer. The fact is nobody knows what tomorrow holds and nobody knows what God can do until he’s done it. I don’t even want to go to MD Anderson at this point for a second opinion as surely they will suggest chemo too. I want to see someone else that has a better plan of attack that works better for me. Sue Saba said she had a holistic doctor when she had cancer that was against chemo and I think I’d like to talk to him. I plan to call her today. Mark and I are trying to figure out our finances. I‘d love to get some test and reports and such, but we have to wait to figure out the money situation first.

Let me also point out at this time that just because my body is giving me issues, my brain and emotional health is just fine. I am able to go about my business and get things done. I am not an emotional wreck over here crying into my green smoothie.  I am living the best I can and will continue to, just like everyone else, day by day, for as long as I can. Sure I will have the physical need and issues, but this is all temporary and I will be fine.

I will continue to pray for guidance with treatment and look for alternative solutions. You can pray for healing of my body, everything from my chemo induced sore throat to my achy legs and neuropathy. You can pray that my heart will be strong and that my bladder issues from 2 ½ years go away. I was supposed to have surgery on Jan. 27^th to take out the sling and mesh and the doctors said, no, do chemo instead since cancer erodes faster than the mesh. I am now wondering if that was a good idea too.

Thanks for your prayers and your help with things.

Blessings,
Karri