My Story

I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Her2 positive breast cancer Dec. 27th, 2011. I had three large tumors in my left breast, I also had two positive lymph nodes and so with 5 positive biopsies I started my journey. In the beginning, it was a whirlwind and within a week, I was getting a port and preparing for chemo and the rush to save my life was on. Eight months later (August 20th) after stopping chemo (12 sessions) and not having surgery (a suggested double mastectomy) or radiation like my doctors wanted me to, I sat at Cancer Treatment Centers of America in Illinois and heard the results of a mammogram, MRI, Pet Scan and blood tests were that they could find no cancer in my body. The nurses and doctors were baffled and no one could explain how I could have had this terrible cancer and it was now gone, except for me. I said the Lord healed me through prayers, education, diet and supplements. I started this blog when I was first diagnosed, it is not just about on cancer, but my life and day-to-day thoughts and activities. There are suggested websites, blogs, videos and more here that I believe can benefit those dealing with cancer and those who want to be preventative. My hope is that you and yours will learn, be encouraged and healed. My family prays every night for those with cancer and that you will be not only be healed but that you will live long and happy lives.
Please check out the right side and scroll down to "This blog" for highlights.
Love and Blessings on your journey.

Saturday, May 05, 2012

If I Die Young - May 5, 2012

I started this post on mid - Thursday night, but got busy; I’ve added to it this morning.

I start this day's post by talking about death as that is what is on my mind. I went to see Dr. Hopkins’s yesterday and skipping over the bulk of the visit I will concentrate this post on a small part of the office visit.

After I had met with the doctor,  I went to have an ionic foot bath with minerals and such and to get cold laser light therapy done for sleep which obviously didn’t work as well as I had hoped considering it’s 3:15 a.m. and I have been up since 1:15! Frustrating! Anyways, he had a new girl working there and she said she had just graduated from chiropractic school and would be helping Dr. Mark out. She said she had worked there shadowing him 3 plus years earlier and then decided to pursue the same fields of interest that he did. During the visit which Bobbie drove me to, this new doctor mentioned that the reason she was there is because her aunt had the same type of aggressive cancer I have; Stage 3 – Her 2 positive and that she was diagnosed at age 29 and she died at age 35. This woman had done everything by the book according to MD Anderson – the chemo, the surgery, radiation, etc. and she ended up having the cancer metastasize and then she got very sick and ended up losing weight, having to be in a wheelchair, etc. and she was described now by her niece as “not even being my aunt anymore towards the end”. It was a difficult situation and you could hear it in her voice.

Well yesterday, I was on a cancer support group that I have been a part of for a few weeks and I was having a conversation with a woman similar to this story and the group is riddled with similar stories. I am actually cutting and pasting it here so you can see what I see and hear often.

I was diagnosed in 2003 with breast cancer at the time stage 2, after treatment and 5 years of remission, in 2011 I have now been diagnosed with metastasis in bone cancer, and now it has spread to the lining of the lung, with 2 small nodes in the lung, my treatment s currently hormone receptive treatment, and bone strengthening treatment, so far doing okay, have my moments but keeping strong in the mind anxiety is big but trying to work on that too, pain has it peaks too, but ideas would be great to have on better management other than mediations.

So my point is that it doesn’t matter what I do, there is still a chance that I will have reoccurrence or metastasizing (spreading) of the cancer to another place in my body, usually the bone, brain, liver or kidney. So whether or not I do chemo or holistic or whatever, faith and trust in the Lord and his plan for my life and timing for my death even have to be central to everything. BTW – there is also the chance of a miracle and complete healing too.

Sat. morning.

Anyways, I am not scared about dying, that’s really no big deal to me as I am saved by the blood of Jesus and I know I will be heading home to my Father in heaven when the time comes, whether I am 41 or 91. The thing that makes me a bit sad here and there is thinking about death (which is very rare) and my leaving my husband and children. Of course that would be sad and difficult for me and everyone close to me. All along that has really been my only real sadness when thinking that way, but the idea of the possibility of a slow painful death was a new thought on Thursday.

Last night I was in bed watching 15 minutes of TV before going to sleep and there was a show called My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding which is on some cable channel. Anyways it follows Irish travelers and one of the girls (age 15) that was getting married was talking about how she would be sad on her wedding day as her mother recently died from cancer. Hope was at the end of the bed and we were getting ready for our camping trip and she saw that part of the show.  We didn’t talk about it and I don’t want to.

Later Mark and I had a chance to have alone time which is sometimes difficult around here; in fact kids kept occasionally knocking on the locked door and we kept saying “Go to bed!” which of course we had already put them in bed and said prayers and everything and so this was after the fact. Mark listened to me talk about these things and he said “Ya got to have faith honey”. So anyways I started this on Thursday night at around 2 a.m. and I am finishing it around 7:30 a.m. Saturday, and even in between this time frame I am feeling better. I am not worried or stressed – at least not too much. I have a lot on my plate besides cancer and I think this will be our busiest summer ever.

I finish this post with a song that talks about death. If I die young. i am also including the last part of the song lyrics.

Last part of the song:

A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singing
Funny, when you're dead how people start listening

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The ballad of a dove
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket
Save them for a time when you're really gonna need them, oh

The sharp knife of a short life
Well, I've had just enough time
So put on your best, boys
And I'll wear my pearls
Have a great weekend.


1 comment:

  1. I am praying for a miracle and your ministry along the way. I am also a homeschool mom. My husband fought and beat both leukemia and lymphoma last year. Press on and know the Lord is the Great Physician!


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